So, there are a few things I’ve learned in life other than everyone has to deal with death and taxes. Over these past 20 years of providing therapeutic services I’ve come to realize that everyone, and I mean everyone deals with some level of anxiety. What I’ve also learned is that people do whatever they can do to not have to feel the discomfort that their anxiety brings to their mind and their body. Unfortunately, in order for most individuals to be successful in their lives, to the level that he she would want, they need to gain the tools to not just manage their anxiety but to take charge of it! Most people when asked for their definition of anxiety typically relate it to the uncomfortable feelings or thoughts that invade their mind and/or body. Many have learned at an early age to do anything they could to avoid the uncomfortable feelings of anxiety. This may have been a great defense mechanism early in life, but a behavior that typically wreaks havoc in later years. My definition is plain and simple: anxiety tells us that whatever we are about to do is going to turn out badly! If you think about my definition logically, if one’s thoughts are telling them that whatever they’re about to do is going to turn out badly they’re going to do whatever they can to avoid that from happening. As most people know, as strong as these thoughts may be in the moment, they are quite often coming from a level of thinking that is not rational. At ExecutiveFunctioning.Net, one of my top goals for any of my clients is to do a complete overhaul of how they see, understand, confront, and manage their anxiety. The bottom line is that you have got to get comfortable with your discomfort!!
This brings me to what has become a different way of seeing one’s anxiety. A few years back I was at my doctor’s office. He began to talk to me about good cholesterol and bad cholesterol. I looked at him quizzically, because in my mind I did not believe that there was any cholesterol that could be good. Over the course of the next few minutes he gave me an explanation which I was comfortable accepting. A short while later I began to look at the same concept as it relates to anxiety. I started to look at anxiety as both being good and bad. Now I know anyone who’s reading this will immediately say there is no possible way that anxiety can be good. I beg to differ. In order to move forward in life we must face situations that make us feel uncomfortable, that create what I like to call good anxiety. Good Anxiety is the feeling that most individuals no matter how strong they are, are going to feel at some level when they are trying to accomplish certain things in their lives. Good anxiety can have a wide range. For a student, it may be raising a hand in class. For a performer, it may be going to an audition. For a professional it may be making an important business call. The bottom line is that to accomplish the things that we want to accomplish, we may need to both feel, and stand up to the Good Anxiety. Once again, I am sure that everybody who is reading this has at some point in time maybe today, maybe yesterday, maybe even just by reading this blog has felt some level of good anxiety. Many of you have been able to push through these feelings and thoughts and accomplish the task at hand. Unfortunately, many of you have avoided an opportunity due to the Good Anxiety, providing yourself with the relief you were looking for in the moment. What I’ve seen in my practice is that soon after, the relief fades and the disappointment enters. This my friends is what I call Bad Anxiety. Bad Anxiety represents the feelings and thoughts that come about as a result of one’s failure to take on their Good Anxiety. Bad Anxiety typically leads to depression, low self-esteem, and various other negative views of oneself. It is my goal with every client that utilizes my services for them to gain the skills and confidence to attack the Good Anxiety, but also value themselves enough to feel the discomfort in order to prevent the Bad Anxiety!
I look forward to providing you with more insight in this area through my blog which can be found on my website www.executivefunctioning.net . In the interim please feel free to reach out to me to discuss my short-term program to provide you the tools for Creating Success and Balance On and Off Your Professional Playing Field.